There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Alive.
So much puke
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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