At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is wine microwaveable?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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