can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize