The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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