he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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