on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
