i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize