They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
