i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
