I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Randomize
