I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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