Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
