i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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