In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
