giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dignity is for republicans.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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