when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
