I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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