Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Randomize
