on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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