Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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