I puked a lego.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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