took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
