Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize