with your own penis?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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