I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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