Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize