just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
