this beer tastes like vomit already
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
