I wish I could teleport
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
