You can't special order awesome
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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