I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
