i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it's like iHOP with fire
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
