garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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