he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You're like the curious george of whores
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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