'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
