There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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