OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize