I hope mine doesn't look like that
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
