i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
