soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
