sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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