so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
