He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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