Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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