I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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