Moan for me like Helen Keller
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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