I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think i have two assholes
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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