Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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