how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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