so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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