If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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