Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
