im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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