Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.

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  (908): Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog. http://tfl.nu/8v75
  Replies (27) Good night (855) Bad night (1985)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup

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  (860): So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup http://tfl.nu/fyxp
  Replies (18) Good night (1138) Bad night (3974)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"

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  (432): He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun" http://tfl.nu/hrdc
  Replies (28) Good night (2728) Bad night (4268)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

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  (832): I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY. http://tfl.nu/qe8v
  Replies (24) Good night (4542) Bad night (2030)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.

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  (317): All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America. http://tfl.nu/3zlb
  Replies (13) Good night (5991) Bad night (952)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Why is your signature on my underwear?

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  (419): Why is your signature on my underwear? http://tfl.nu/8itl
  Replies (19) Good night (6118) Bad night (897)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.

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  (815): I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis. http://tfl.nu/m4yy
  Replies (6) Good night (1007) Bad night (2936)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.

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  (816): I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there? (1-816): Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/46j7
  Replies (9) Good night (3261) Bad night (947)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.

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  (978): I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters. http://tfl.nu/m77a
  Replies (10) Good night (2846) Bad night (663)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that

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  (845): I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that http://tfl.nu/j3rv
  Replies (7) Good night (1645) Bad night (1106)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.

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  (519): sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass. http://tfl.nu/vgdt
  Replies (5) Good night (2529) Bad night (804)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway

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  (402): God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway http://tfl.nu/7nqq
  Replies (12) Good night (616) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

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  (336): Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning http://tfl.nu/no2z
  Replies (5) Good night (1456) Bad night (437)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?

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  (248): spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years? http://tfl.nu/coam
  Replies (3) Good night (1400) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You burned the hair off your arms. Again.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It grows back stronger each time.

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  (203): You burned the hair off your arms. Again. (860): It grows back stronger each time. http://tfl.nu/ybhf
  Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (461)

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