I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..