Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Wipe that smile off your face.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it