hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.