do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.