i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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