plz talk dirty to me
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
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Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
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she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.