I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
