I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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