The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
