U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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