Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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