Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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