i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I supernannyed him into submission
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
