After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize