I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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