Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
