i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
